My experience is that kids won't speak up in a big group.
They may even be afraid of the offender. What I suggest you
do is try to talk to the students 1:1 in private, starting
with the more impulsive or talkative kids. Begin the
discussion with small chit-chat and then when you ease into
the more serious territory the tight lips seem to loosen up!
The kids don't know what each other are saying and they worry
that they might get blamed. Just pepper the students with 101
questions and information will emerge. Each student will
leave a clue behind, yet think they haven't revealed
anything. Before you know it you'll have the full picture.

After the culprit is identified and appropriate discipline
and apologies are rendered you should consider holding a
school-wide student centered program centered around positive
character building, with special focus on this classroom.
This will offset parental concerns, both the girl's and
others who have by now heard of the story, about how the
school managed the situation. My daughter was sexually
harrassed by a male student in middle school, which the whole
family found quite upsetting. However, when the school called
to say they were moving up an already scheduled sexual
harrassment workshop from spring to late fall, we felt more
confident that the school was on top of the situation.

On 3/05/10, Aunt Kack wrote:
> Any suggestions on how to get to the bottom of a situation
> when the students in the class are "mum"? Usually I'm
> pretty good at this but can't seem to make a break in this
> case!
>
> Someone (perhaps 2-3 someones) scratched inappropriate
> comments of a sexual nature about a female classmate into
> the wooden bathroom door in the classroom. (This is 5th
> grade). The girl found it horribly embarrassing and her
> parents are understandably upset. The teacher held a class
> meeting and talked about the inappropriateness of the
> comments (and defacing school property). She had each of
> the kids write her a note about it; usually at this point
> one or two kids point the finger at the culprit. No names
> came forward.
>
> We did a spell check because the girl's name is spelled
> wrong in one of the sentences on the bathroom door. Only
> one student in the classroom spelled her name the same
> (wrong) way when we did the spell check -- however he
> totally denied any part in it. I even told him I had reason
> to believe he did it because of the notes his classmates
> wrote but he continued to deny.
>
> We did a handwriting check. There are a few other suspects
> as a result of doing this, but again, no one will fess up.
>
> Talked to the whole class; told them my standard speech
> about if you do something wrong you're going to get in
> trouble; do something wrong and lie about it you're going
> to get in worse trouble. Nothing. Talked to the whole class
> about standing up for the underdog (the girl in this case)
> and how you would feel if this was your name on the door;
> in their notes they agreed but again, no one came forward.
> I told them that I knew someone in the class knew who did
> it and that they could have the weekend to think about it.
>
> Not sure where to go from here. We've already talked to
> this class about sexual harassment earlier this semester
> and sent a letter home to all of the parents.
>
> The girl's mom asked if we could offer a reward leading to
> the "capture and conviction" of the culprit(s). She smiled
> as she said it but I knew what she meant. Told her that I,
> too, needed the weekend to think about it.
>
> Ideas? Thanks!!!!! Have a great weekend.

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