How awful for the child involved. Be careful about peppering
them with questions and carrying the inquisition too far. How
would you feel if you were called into the office of the
principal, alone at age 10, and told to get down on your knees
and swear on a bible that you were not the one who did a similar
thing? And you cried and pleaded that you did not. And how would
you feel if this happened with no one else present, that no one
in your home was told of it, and that no one ever was told that
they'd found a culprit, or that they knew you were not the
perpetrator? And these adults were so sure that they had their
person. A kid may try to be helpful and suggest something or
reason for the incident and then be blamed. It is probably time
to let the parents of all the kids know that there has been an
incident. I don't think I'd be sitting back and doing nothing if
a teacher told my child that she was sure he did something.
Don't you think you have an obligation to contact the pareent in
this case and let them know what you said to the child and about
the spelling and led you to say it? And, wouldn't another child
be able to spell incorrectly when commiting an act like that?

On 3/05/10, Been there wrote:
> My experience is that kids won't speak up in a big group.
> They may even be afraid of the offender. What I suggest you
> do is try to talk to the students 1:1 in private, starting
> with the more impulsive or talkative kids. Begin the
> discussion with small chit-chat and then when you ease into
> the more serious territory the tight lips seem to loosen up!
> The kids don't know what each other are saying and they worry
> that they might get blamed. Just pepper the students with 101
> questions and information will emerge. Each student will
> leave a clue behind, yet think they haven't revealed
> anything. Before you know it you'll have the full picture.
>
> After the culprit is identified and appropriate discipline
> and apologies are rendered you should consider holding a
> school-wide student centered program centered around positive
> character building, with special focus on this classroom.
> This will offset parental concerns, both the girl's and
> others who have by now heard of the story, about how the
> school managed the situation. My daughter was sexually
> harrassed by a male student in middle school, which the whole
> family found quite upsetting. However, when the school called
> to say they were moving up an already scheduled sexual
> harrassment workshop from spring to late fall, we felt more
> confident that the school was on top of the situation.
>
> On 3/05/10, Aunt Kack wrote:
>> Any suggestions on how to get to the bottom of a situation
>> when the students in the class are "mum"? Usually I'm
>> pretty good at this but can't seem to make a break in this
>> case!
>>
>> Someone (perhaps 2-3 someones) scratched inappropriate
>> comments of a sexual nature about a female classmate into
>> the wooden bathroom door in the classroom. (This is 5th
>> grade). The girl found it horribly embarrassing and her
>> parents are understandably upset. The teacher held a class
>> meeting and talked about the inappropriateness of the
>> comments (and defacing school property). She had each of
>> the kids write her a note about it; usually at this point
>> one or two kids point the finger at the culprit. No names
>> came forward.
>>
>> We did a spell check because the girl's name is spelled
>> wrong in one of the sentences on the bathroom door. Only
>> one student in the classroom spelled her name the same
>> (wrong) way when we did the spell check -- however he
>> totally denied any part in it. I even told him I had reason
>> to believe he did it because of the notes his classmates
>> wrote but he continued to deny.
>>
>> We did a handwriting check. There are a few other suspects
>> as a result of doing this, but again, no one will fess up.
>>
>> Talked to the whole class; told them my standard speech
>> about if you do something wrong you're going to get in
>> trouble; do something wrong and lie about it you're going
>> to get in worse trouble. Nothing. Talked to the whole class
>> about standing up for the underdog (the girl in this case)
>> and how you would feel if this was your name on the door;
>> in their notes they agreed but again, no one came forward.
>> I told them that I knew someone in the class knew who did
>> it and that they could have the weekend to think about it.
>>
>> Not sure where to go from here. We've already talked to
>> this class about sexual harassment earlier this semester
>> and sent a letter home to all of the parents.
>>
>> The girl's mom asked if we could offer a reward leading to
>> the "capture and conviction" of the culprit(s). She smiled
>> as she said it but I knew what she meant. Told her that I,
>> too, needed the weekend to think about it.
>>
>> Ideas? Thanks!!!!! Have a great weekend.

More | Report Post

Next Post >>

Posts on this thread, including this one