I agree, talk to students privately without making it
an 'interrogation'.
If after "thinking about it over the weekend" none of the students
offer any more info, you may be in a situation where you can't solve
this one. At that point it might be more beneficial to focus on being
proactive to keep something like this from happening again - talk to
the students about sexual harassment again, etc.
This is a restroom inside the classroom, used only by this class? In
most school settings where an individual classroom doesn't have its
own restroom, it might be nearly impossible to determine who had
written something like this (out of multiple classes) if the students
aren't saying anything. It's also quite possible that the students who
weren't involved don't know who was.
As a proactive measure the teacher might use a sign-out sheet with
name and time or some other system to keep track of which students are
using the restroom (and when) so that if something similar reappears
on this door, you have a list of which students have been in the
restroom most recently. The teacher would check the restroom
periodically so that if any writing appeared she'd know, for example,
it wasn't there after school yesterday so it must have been someone
who went in there this morning. The teacher should also keep an eye
out for notes being passed around the room, or other places someone
could write inappropriate messages, besides the bathroom door. This
may help 'catch' anyone who does this again and also may prevent it
from happening again in the first place, when the students see that
they're more likely to get caught.
Definitely if you are unable to find out who did it, you want the kids
to see that you and the teacher are taking steps to prevent the same
thing from happening again. You should do this even if you find out
who did it, but especially if you don't find out - you don't
want students to think they can keep doing this 'anonymously' and not
get caught.

On 3/06/10, Been There wrote:
> I didn't mean to suggest that the students be interogated. What I
> meant was to find private opportunities outside the classroom to
> gently probe about the situation. By gradually introducing
> questions about the incident after a more casual conversation can
> help students be more forthcoming with their responses. If the
> students are intimidated by the offender then it's highly unlikely
> that anyone would speak up in front of the whole class.
>
> On 3/05/10, MM wrote:
>> How awful for the child involved. Be careful about peppering
>> them with questions and carrying the inquisition too far. How
>> would you feel if you were called into the office of the
>> principal, alone at age 10, and told to get down on your knees
>> and swear on a bible that you were not the one who did a similar
>> thing? And you cried and pleaded that you did not. And how would
>> you feel if this happened with no one else present, that no one
>> in your home was told of it, and that no one ever was told that
>> they'd found a culprit, or that they knew you were not the
>> perpetrator? And these adults were so sure that they had their
>> person. A kid may try to be helpful and suggest something or
>> reason for the incident and then be blamed. It is probably time
>> to let the parents of all the kids know that there has been an
>> incident. I don't think I'd be sitting back and doing nothing if
>> a teacher told my child that she was sure he did something.
>> Don't you think you have an obligation to contact the pareent in
>> this case and let them know what you said to the child and about
>> the spelling and led you to say it? And, wouldn't another child
>> be able to spell incorrectly when commiting an act like that?
>>
>> On 3/05/10, Been there wrote:
>>> My experience is that kids won't speak up in a big group.
>>> They may even be afraid of the offender. What I suggest you
>>> do is try to talk to the students 1:1 in private, starting
>>> with the more impulsive or talkative kids. Begin the
>>> discussion with small chit-chat and then when you ease into
>>> the more serious territory the tight lips seem to loosen up!
>>> The kids don't know what each other are saying and they worry
>>> that they might get blamed. Just pepper the students with 101
>>> questions and information will emerge. Each student will
>>> leave a clue behind, yet think they haven't revealed
>>> anything. Before you know it you'll have the full picture.
>>>
>>> After the culprit is identified and appropriate discipline
>>> and apologies are rendered you should consider holding a
>>> school-wide student centered program centered around positive
>>> character building, with special focus on this classroom.
>>> This will offset parental concerns, both the girl's and
>>> others who have by now heard of the story, about how the
>>> school managed the situation. My daughter was sexually
>>> harrassed by a male student in middle school, which the whole
>>> family found quite upsetting. However, when the school called
>>> to say they were moving up an already scheduled sexual
>>> harrassment workshop from spring to late fall, we felt more
>>> confident that the school was on top of the situation.
>>>
>>> On 3/05/10, Aunt Kack wrote:
>>>> Any suggestions on how to get to the bottom of a situation
>>>> when the students in the class are "mum"? Usually I'm
>>>> pretty good at this but can't seem to make a break in this
>>>> case!
>>>>
>>>> Someone (perhaps 2-3 someones) scratched inappropriate
>>>> comments of a sexual nature about a female classmate into
>>>> the wooden bathroom door in the classroom. (This is 5th
>>>> grade). The girl found it horribly embarrassing and her
>>>> parents are understandably upset. The teacher held a class
>>>> meeting and talked about the inappropriateness of the
>>>> comments (and defacing school property). She had each of
>>>> the kids write her a note about it; usually at this point
>>>> one or two kids point the finger at the culprit. No names
>>>> came forward.
>>>>
>>>> We did a spell check because the girl's name is spelled
>>>> wrong in one of the sentences on the bathroom door. Only
>>>> one student in the classroom spelled her name the same
>>>> (wrong) way when we did the spell check -- however he
>>>> totally denied any part in it. I even told him I had reason
>>>> to believe he did it because of the notes his classmates
>>>> wrote but he continued to deny.
>>>>
>>>> We did a handwriting check. There are a few other suspects
>>>> as a result of doing this, but again, no one will fess up.
>>>>
>>>> Talked to the whole class; told them my standard speech
>>>> about if you do something wrong you're going to get in
>>>> trouble; do something wrong and lie about it you're going
>>>> to get in worse trouble. Nothing. Talked to the whole class
>>>> about standing up for the underdog (the girl in this case)
>>>> and how you would feel if this was your name on the door;
>>>> in their notes they agreed but again, no one came forward.
>>>> I told them that I knew someone in the class knew who did
>>>> it and that they could have the weekend to think about it.
>>>>
>>>> Not sure where to go from here. We've already talked to
>>>> this class about sexual harassment earlier this semester
>>>> and sent a letter home to all of the parents.
>>>>
>>>> The girl's mom asked if we could offer a reward leading to
>>>> the "capture and conviction" of the culprit(s). She smiled
>>>> as she said it but I knew what she meant. Told her that I,
>>>> too, needed the weekend to think about it.
>>>>
>>>> Ideas? Thanks!!!!! Have a great weekend.

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