Re: How much time?

More | Report Post

I agree with the earlier poster on the subject of those who are
negative.

I will only listen to about the first thirty seconds of
complaining. After that I say something like, "Yeah, I hear
you. That IS frustrating. You have given it a lot of thought.
What do you see us doing to solve it?"

I've gotten a few great suggestions, and quite a few "Oh,
nothing. I just wanted to vent." comments. I tell them that I'm
okay with them coming to me with vents, and that I certainly
prefer that to venting in a more public venue, but that I really
prefer that with vents come thoughts on solutions.

In my experience it gives those who need to vent to process and
move through things a good place to do so. For those who just
want to vent, they tire quickly of someone who keeps agreeing
with them, in theory, and then trying to get them to do a little
extra work toward a solution.

I won't put in tons of hours listening to someone just
rant/vent/be negative, but that's a judgment call when you're in
the situation. I know my own problem solving pattern is usually
a minute or two of outrage and frustration followed by acceptance
of the situation and then right into looking for workable
solutions. I don't allow myself more than a moment to be in that
negative head space, and I don't speak it in public, but I do
need a little of that in my own head. The key is a "LITTLE" of
that.

I try to guide others to that same place if I can.

http://

Posts on this thread, including this one